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Make Sure You Do: Before You Say "I Do"


Tina Turner asked an important question in the title of her hit song; What's Love Got To Do With It? Yes love is important but love don't pay the bills. It is not be enough to be "in love." Couples must have the basic skills necessary for building and enhancing the relationship over time. Lasting marriages require partners who are committed to respecting one another, who have gained knowledge about what makes marriage work, and who have developed skills that will enhance rather than deteriorate the relationship.

It is mind boggling that so many spend countless hours planning for the great wedding day. That's right; it is only for one day; a mere drop in the ocean of time. Here today, gone tomorrow; then what? It is just plain ignorant to spend numerous weeks and even months planning for the wedding that last a day and ignore the marriage that is expected to endure for a lifetime. It makes good sense then, to spend at least an equal amount of time preparing for married life. By reading this article, you have taken the first step toward increasing your awareness. I applaud you.

Whenever I perform a wedding ceremony, it usually includes these words:

Do you promise to love, honor, cherish, and protect him/her, forsaking all others and holding only unto him/her according to God's holy law; and thus pledge your faithfulness.

It is disconcerting that nearly half of all married couples regretted uttering those profound words and have since divorced. I believe that the most egregious mistake these couples made was not spending enough time seriously planning for a lifetime together in marriage. Though most couples do claim to take their wedding vows seriously, often what has been disregarded is really getting to know each other on a level beneath the surface.

Women, particularly, seem to approach marriage from a fantasy "happy-ever-after" mentality. We do not seem to realize that what we think we "see" is not perfect reality. And, what we think we feel is related to what we think we see. In other words, we tend to approach marriage with a distorted perception of what married life will be like. In a way, it can be analogized to an adolescent girl who always wanted a baby until she actually had one and the reality of parental responsibility ferociously slapped her in the face; or the teen young man who didn't understand that as soon as he hit adulthood, the system would relentlessly seek child support payments from him for each child he has fathered.

Keep in mind that who you marry will have a dramatic impact on all aspects of your life; spiritual, emotional, mental, and physical health. Marriage is serious business and should be given serious thought. It is not optional, it is obligatory. Take a long and hard look before you leap.

Rev. Saundra L. Washington, is an ordained clergywoman, social worker, and Founder of AMEN Ministries http://www.clergyservices4u.org. She is also the author of two coffee table books: Room Beneath the Snow: Poems that Preach and Negative Disturbances: Homilies that Teach. Her new book, Out of Deep Water: A Grief Healing Workbook, will be available soon.


MORE RESOURCES:

William & Kate - Royal Wedding

Hot Covers! One Prince, Three Sisters, Lots of Breakups - Wall Street Journal


Hot Covers! One Prince, Three Sisters, Lots of Breakups
Wall Street Journal
The wedding of the UK's Prince William and Kate Middleton provided a huge boost. People's royal-wedding issue sold more than two million copies on the newsstand, 80% above its average, while US Weekly's sold about 932000 copies, more than 40% above its ...

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The red carpet–and William/Kate—inspire this ex-banker - Inquirer.net


Inquirer.net

The red carpet–and William/Kate—inspire this ex-banker
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The headdresses are inspired by those she saw during the royal wedding of Prince William and Kate. Leytte chooses fabrics and designs clothes with the pet's comfort in mind. She has turned down offers to do gowns using heavy fabrics or outrageous ...

Madonna plans film on Duke and Duchess of Cambridge - Zee News


Zee News

Madonna plans film on Duke and Duchess of Cambridge
Zee News
According to rumours, the 53-yar-old is hoping that Ritchie can help her get the project off the ground, as he is a distant cousin of Kate and had attended the royal wedding. “Guy and Madonna are still close and speak often.
MADONNA PLANS TO FILM DUCHESS OF CAMBRIDGEExpress.co.uk

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Catherine Middleton Shops in London While Prince William Serves in the Falklands - Sawf News


Sawf News

Catherine Middleton Shops in London While Prince William Serves in the Falklands
Sawf News
... a guest at Kate Middleton - Prince William wedding last year. Catherine is expected to stay mostly in London during husband William's six-week deployment in the disputed islands. The 30-year-old royal wife was sighted on King's Road doing her ...
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Oklahoma City couple receive wedding of their dreams - NewsOK.com


NewsOK.com

Oklahoma City couple receive wedding of their dreams
NewsOK.com
By Heather Warlick Moore hwarlick@opubco.com Malorie and Michael Gulikers never dreamed they'd be able to get married with all the pomp and circumstance of the royal wedding of William and Kate (minus the wild hats). Both come from average Oklahoma ...

Kate Middleton's fallen off the humble wagon? - Examiner.com


Kate Middleton's fallen off the humble wagon?
Examiner.com
Prince William's been adamant in the past about keeping a low profile on expenditures out of respect for the country's tough economical times. His new wife appeared to go along with that strategy from the day she entered the royal family.

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England: Royal jousting at Blenheim Palace - New Zealand Herald


England: Royal jousting at Blenheim Palace
New Zealand Herald
This was a royal jousting tournament being held to celebrate the wedding of Prince William and Kate Middleton - though they hold tournaments regularly throughout the year - and what more regal setting could there be than this most imperial place.

Is Pippa Middleton Loved Up with George Percy?! - Gather Celebs News Channel


Entertainmentwise

Is Pippa Middleton Loved Up with George Percy?!
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It hasn't been a year since the Royal Wedding yet, but while Kate looks after her new puppy and William reports for duty in the Falklands, it's Pippa Middleton who is stealing the headlines! The latest reports suggest Pippa and George Percy, ...
Pippa Middleton Serious Love Romance with George PercyGather.com
Royal bridesmaid reportedly in serious relationship with George PercyEntertainmentwise
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The Queen Loves Kate! Gives Her The Seal Of Approval! - PerezHilton.com


PerezHilton.com

The Queen Loves Kate! Gives Her The Seal Of Approval!
PerezHilton.com
Queen Elizabeth II loves her grandaugter in law and has given Kate Middleton her seal of approval! A courtier explained that the Queen Mum was giddy at Prince William and Kate's Royal Wedding. The courtier said the following: She was practically ...
Prince William first fight with KateGreat New Movies
Kate Middleton And Prince William Have Nasty FightCelebrity Dirty Laundry
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Diamond Jubilee: How the Queen is making Kate Middleton great - Mirror.co.uk


stv.tv

Diamond Jubilee: How the Queen is making Kate Middleton great
Mirror.co.uk
Nothing could have told the Queen more clearly how important Kate Middleton was going to be to the Royal Family. It was clear that the wedding of commoner Kate to her grandson Prince William had inspired the nation – and beyond, as two billion people ...
Kate Middleton delights and impresses the Queenstv.tv
William & Kate Bask in Mustique Privacy on Holiday With MiddletonsDaily Beast
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