Let us create a 3d Digital eBook for you! DigyCat.com
|
||
|
||
|
Marriage & Wedding Information - Marriage-Wedding | Let us create a 3d Digital eBook for you! DigyCat.com |
|
|
|
Can a Marital Separation Ever Save a Marriage?
As an experienced counselor, one of the questions I'm asked frequently is, "Can a marital separation ever save a marriage?" My answer is a qualified "yes." Sometimes a couple is miserable living together and can't seem to co-exist without having constant harping and bickering. If they have children, they may worry about the impact on them of all the fighting. Each spouse wants the marriage to work and is willing to work on the problems and issues in marriage counseling while they're separated. Couples in this situation often plan to use the separation period to "let the dust settle," reflect on the marriage, take responsibility for their share of what has happened, and work on individual and joint issues in counseling. One goal is for the spouses to use their problem-solving skills in counseling to address and resolve the most serious problems before moving back together. Both spouses agree not to date anyone else and to focus exclusively on working to improve the marriage. For these couples, the separation can be a time to think, to reflect, to analyze, to cool off and calm down, and to take a break from each other. It also provides time and space for each spouse to make unhurried, thoughtful decisions instead of waiting for things to blow up and then impulsively leaving. Used in this way, a planned separation can actually help to save a marriage. In other cases, one spouse or the other may move out on the spur of the moment after an upsetting argument. The separation is unplanned, and there are no plans for marriage counseling, no guidelines agreed upon about seeing others, and no tentative time-line for the separation. There is usually much anxiety on the part of the partner who has been left unexpectedly and there are many unanswered questions: What is happening? Will the partner file for divorce? Will the marriage survive? Whether the separation will help or hurt the marriage is unknown in this case. Things could go either way, depending on what happens. Another situation that can result in separation is when a spouse is living in an intolerable situation in the marriage. Perhaps the partner is verbally abusive, chronically runs around, or shows continual disrespect towards his or her spouse in some other way. The spouse may have tried to get the partner to go to counseling, but the partner always refused. Sometimes the best thing the spouse can do is to decide to separate and hope that the partner will be shocked enough by the unexpected action to finally agree to work on the marriage. In situations like this, a separation can sometimes save the marriage. The partner often says, "I knew we had some problems, but I didn't think they were that serious. I never thought she (or he) would really leave. She kept telling me, but I didn't believe her." The spouse then has to stand firm and let the partner know that she is going to live separately because "I refuse to be in a marriage where I'm treated like this. I deserve more." By not rushing to file for divorce, the spouse finds out during the planned separation if the partner is finally motivated enough to enter counseling and work on changing. If the couple enters counseling, the therapist will then be able to give them a recommendation about when they are ready to live together again, if ever. Of course, there are no guarantees in a marital separation. The separation might be instrumental in saving the marriage, or it may widen the gap between the two spouses and eventually lead to divorce. A planned separation is always preferable to an impulsive one. The following five tips can help you if you need to think about separating from your spouse: 1. Talk with your spouse about what your individual goals are for the separation. Are they the same or different? 2. Try to reach agreement that neither of you will date anyone else during this period of time. If your marriage is going to have the best chance possible, you'll want to agree not to have sexual entanglements with others so you can continue to work on your relationship. 3. Set a tentative time period for the separation, such as three months. At the end of that time, you can both re-evaluate the decision in terms of what's best for each of you. 4. Agree to seek individual and joint counseling during the separation to address the key problems and issues that have caused conflict in the marriage. This is an ideal time to do some deep individual work on your own personal issues as well as to address core relationship issues. 5. Set guidelines that you both agree to about how much contact you'll have during the separation and what kind of contact it will be. It doesn't do any good to have a separation if one spouse or the other is calling on the phone every five minutes and constantly wanting to talk more about the problems. The separation is supposed to reduce conflict and give each person some space and relief from constant pressure and arguments. Nancy J. Wasson, Ph.D., is co-author of Keep Your Marriage: What to Do When Your Spouse Says "I don't love you anymore!" This is available at http://www.KeepYourMarriage.com, where you can also sign up for the free weekly Keep Your Marriage Internet Magazine to get ideas and support for improving your marriage.
MORE RESOURCES: William & Kate - Royal Wedding Catherine Middleton Shops in London While Prince William Serves in the Falklands - Sawf News
Oklahoma City couple receive wedding of their dreams - NewsOK.com
Kate Middleton's fallen off the humble wagon? - Examiner.com
England: Royal jousting at Blenheim Palace - New Zealand Herald
Queen Elizabeth II's Diamond Jubilee: From the archives - Washington Post (blog)
Stephenville resident has lifelong fascination with the Queen, Royal Family - Stephenville Georgian
Trouble In Paradise For Prince William and Kate? - Entertainmentwise
Kate Middleton to join the Queen on two Diamond Jubilee engagements - stv.tv
Is Pippa Middleton Loved Up with George Percy?! - Gather Celebs News Channel
Diamond Jubilee: How the Queen is making Kate Middleton great - Mirror.co.uk
|
 |
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
Wedding Rings Your wedding rings were meant to last a lifetime. They are the unique symbol of your devotion to each other and the design should be something that you both can agree on. Finding the Perfect Bridesmaid Gift The bridesmaid gift is essential to the planning of a wedding. While many may believe that a wedding is all about the bride, it is still important to show appreciation to your bridesmaids. Celebrate With Butterflies - The Flying Flowers Make your upcoming event the most memorable ever by adding butterflies to your special day. Butterfly Releases are a perfect way to celebrate all of the important occasions in life. Weddings Abroad - Does Paradise Come At A Price? For some couples, jetting off to their dream location would be the most romantic way to tie the knot. And with weddings abroad being generally much cheaper than having the big day at home, it would seem that this would be the ideal solution for every bride and groom. Women Sufferings and Infidelity Her dreams of marriage and collected marriage values disintegrate when she finds her husband/partner is sharing with others what was meant for her. The partner is her/his own property and dignity that she does not want to loose. Wedding Photography: Preserving the Memories A person's wedding can be one of the most important times in their life. They will have memories that they want to treasure forever and then pass on to their children. The History of the White Wedding Dress As a youngster -- or perhaps even as an adult -- have you ever sat dreamily imagining yourself in a fairytale wedding dress, about to marry your very own Prince Charming? And, what colour is the wedding dress? The chances are it's a white one. Millions of girls and women that dream of the perfect marriage have a vision of the perfect white wedding dress in their minds. Cheap Wedding Favors Planning a wedding of any size or budget can have numerous items that may be quite costly. In addition to planning for the dress and cake, a bride will want to spend thought considering the wedding favors for her guests. Wedding Reception Entertainment - Choose Wisely When planning your wedding, what type of entertainment are you looking for? A comedian? A clown? A 3-ring circus? Of course not ? you are looking for high quality entertainment that is tailored to your vision for this once-in-a-lifetime event. Your wedding reception entertainment should tie together all the things you have been dreaming of for many, many months. Wedding Frames - Are Your Wedding Photographs Safe? One of the top priorities on a wedding day is to make sure every moment is captured with great photographs. These once-in-a-lifetime memories are irreplaceable and making sure these photographs are properly stored and displayed after the wedding should be just as important. Groomsmens Gifts Your groomsmen will be donating their time to your big event. They will appear at the tailor or rental store to be fitted for that formal wear. Wedding Lingerie - Honeymoon in Paradise There are many things to remember in preparation for your wedding day. Of the many items you can't forget, your wedding lingerie is very important. Getting Great Deals on the Wedding Clothes If you are planning to have a full wedding that includes bridesmaids, and groomsmen etc. it could run you a great deal of money to cover your gown as well as the other women and men's clothing as well. How to Have a Sizzler of a Honeymoon! Article No. 4 When Maria Callas first appeared on the international scene, she sang like a bird, looked like a small whale, and the only people who truly knew and loved her were the perennial ticket-holding opera lovers.Few years later, looking like Audrey Hepburn, photographers couldn't get enough of her face and body, socialites overwhelmed her with invitations to their yachts and private planes, and rich men kept their beds warm ever hopeful that she might, one day, consent to join them there. How to Find The Perfect Wedding Dress You want the perfect wedding dress, so you have made it a major focus of your pre wedding planning. There are some things you need to find from the bridal shop, before you even look at your first gown. Why Hire A Wedding Designer? As couples begin thinking about their wedding, they are often confused over how much to spend, where to obtain specialized services, and how to choose vendors. These worries often mount as quickly as the cost of the wedding. Fabulous Wedding Favors For Every Budget Wedding favors are a delightful detail for any wedding shower, wedding reception, or wedding related gathering. There are thousands of things to pick from when it comes to wedding favors and the message you want to convey. Wedding Planning Tips and Tricks Planning a wedding is an exciting thing, and can be very scary. With some basic tips and tricks, you will be sure to make you day special. Organising your Wedding Stationery Of all the things you need to do, buy and organize in preparation for your wedding, wedding stationery is something that must be planned ahead. After all, you need to let your guests know well in advance of your forthcoming big day. Do You Hear Wedding Bells? So you've been in that perfect relationship for some time now. You've been dropping hints about the future and he is receiving you loud and clear.
|
|
Looking For Royalty Free Photos for your Website, Business or Advertising?
DietRight.biz Domain Is For Sale - $8,500 For Enquiries eMail Us © www.DietRight.biz 2011 |
|
