Let us create a 3D eBook for you!
Let us create a 3d Digital eBook for you! DigyCat.com

Wedding Planning: Involve your Fiancé in 10 Easy Steps


He's popped the question. You've chosen a date. And now, you're swimming in a sea of euphoria with no horizons. Good thing, too, because there are literally a thousand things to arrange before the big day.

You do the research, buckle under and dive in. But you find your fiancé's ardor for the event itself seems to have cooled. It's not that he isn't mad about marrying you; after all, he is a great guy, even if he can't tell a Vera Wang from a Gunny Sack. It's that his preparation style is hands-off, to say the least. And planning a wedding isn't a job built for one.

So what to do? Here are ten ways to involve him without increasing both of your stress loads:

1) Delegate areas that have a prayer of interesting him.

The worst thing you can do is expect him to match your ten to twenty years of feminine wisdom on the relative merits of buttercream vs. fondant.

Here are some probable no areas when roping in a reluctant wedding planner:

- Selecting the cake frosting
- Choosing the favors or favor packaging
- Selecting the wedding colors or floral arrangements

Then there are the potential maybes, fraught with fewer hazards:

- Choosing the photographer
- Choosing the videographer
- Arranging the rehearsal dinner
- Arranging the all-inclusive honeymoon
- Renting big, tricky items like outdoor tents

These are probable yeses, well worth running by your guy:

- Selecting the DJ or the band
- Setting up and maintaining your wedding website
- Researching and selecting charities, if you choose to donate instead of giving out favors
- Setting up the carriage, limo or other transportation arrangements

2) If you ask him to help you choose vendors and styles, narrow down the choices first.

It's a jungle of options out there, enough to give the most natural-born party planner pause. So if you want his opinion on photographers, invites, flowers or cakes, narrow down the options to three or four. He's less likely to feel overwhelmed, and more likely to feel like an important part of the process.

At times, it'll feel so good to share the load that you'll be tempted to drag him into the buttercream debate despite your better instincts. At these times, take a deep breath, count to ten, and call your mother or your maid of honor.

3) Ask him directly for help.

Let him know how important his input is to you, and that you can't do it without him.

Guys like to be needed. Your frank request for help may be enough to pull him out of his comfort zone and onto your team.

4) Try the Art Director/Production Staff approach.

If you think your guy wants to help, but feels uncomfortable playing "art director," give him "production staff" tasks. Have him make the payments, pick up the food or decor, handle the rentals, do online comparison shopping, or reserve the hotels and reception halls. These are all jobs that will take a load off your shoulders, while freeing up time for the aesthetic stuff you probably enjoy and he doesn't.

5) Get a calendar and put all the planning in black and white.

Your fiancé probably doesn't have the first clue in what goes into a wedding.

Get your wedding planner, write it all down, and show him. Once he gets over the shock, you'll both probably be able to identify areas that interest him. Make lists of the things you've each agreed to do, and cross them off as they get done. At the very least, he'll be far more supportive when he sees what you're going through.

6) Weave his family heritage/ethnicity/traditions into the ceremony.

What did his parents do? He might be surprised at the question, but it could lead somewhere valuable. He might ask his parents about their wedding, and find your wedding consequently enriched. Look through their wedding album together. Are his ancestors German, Polish, Italian, Croatian, Asian? Incorporate some old-world traditions into your ceremony.

7) Don't bring him in too early.

Treat your fiance as a bit of a pinch hitter. Sure, you may be fully aware that you can shave 5K off your costs by starting your favor crafts and reservations 18 months ahead of time. But if he's like most guys, the wedding won't become real to him until it draws closer. Expect him to jump in about six months before the actual ceremony, and break into a (relative) frenzy of activity about one month in advance.

8) Talk about something besides the wedding.

Guys aren't the only ones who complain about brides-to-be talking of nothing but upcoming nuptials. Sometimes, even girlfriends get overwhelmed by all the wedding chatter.

Spend some time alone chatting about anything but the wedding. See a silly movie, split a hot fudge sundae, or watch a basketball game. Do something spontaneous that reminds you both of why you decided to marry in the first place.

9) Check your subtext for hidden meanings.

Tempting as it might be, make sure you're not using your fiance as a coin-toss tool (ever noticed how people flip coins to find out what they really want?). When you ask for his opinion, take it seriously. And when you give him ownership of a task, don't second-guess every step.

Imagine that your fiancé has told you he's going to draft a dream team in his fantasy football league, and it's going to cost him $20K to participate. Now imagine that he's told you your help is supremely important to him.

You'd be a little hesitant to give opinions, right? Some of your ideas might sound feeble, even to your own ears. Hopefully he'd welcome your thoughts, however odd it felt for you to venture them. Now imagine your fiancé feels kind of like that when it comes to the wedding.

10) Remember that men become wedding experts by having one.

Chances are, your sweetheart will open his eyes to the wonder of a wedding by the time the rose petals are tossed. Forever after, he'll be examining friend's receptions with a practiced eye, and anticipating the next excuse for a Really Big Shindig.

So keep him around, and count on throwing a first-rate anniversary celebration ten years down the road. In a way, that'll be the party that really matters, won't it?

Blake Kritzberg is editor at "FavorIdeas.com." Stop by for wedding favor ideas, Save-the-Date eCards, free wedding screensaver, free wedding templates and Bridezilla's weekly adventures at:http://www.favorideas.com


MORE RESOURCES:

Weddings - Google News

Chelsea Clinton and Marc Mezvinsky wedding details -- could the price tag be ... - Examiner.com


Sydney Morning Herald

Chelsea Clinton and Marc Mezvinsky wedding details -- could the price tag be ...
Examiner.com
Wedding planners have estimated that the nuptials could cost as much as $5 million, according to the New York Daily News. $750000 for catering, $11000 for ...
Chelsea's weddingChicago Tribune
Chelsea's dream wedding a dad's nightmareVictoria Times Colonist
Chelsea Clinton to Join the "Power Wedding" RanksCBS News
The Stir (blog) -WNYC (blog) -NPR
all 4,448 news articles »

Wedding Etiquette Made Simple - CBS News


CBS News

Wedding Etiquette Made Simple
CBS News
(CBS) At a big wedding like Chelsea Clinton's, it can be tough to know all of the "do's" and "don'ts" of etiquette. How do you work out such a large seating ...
Chelsea: Presidential Kid in the Public EyeCBS News
9 'Uber' Bridal Trends Chelsea Clinton's Wedding Will LaunchLemondrop (blog)
The weddingNMPolitics.net
Wall Street Journal
all 20 news articles »

“Your Special Day” Wedding Services – Wedding Ceremonies on Every Conceivable ... - Online PR News (press release)


“Your Special Day” Wedding Services – Wedding Ceremonies on Every Conceivable ...
Online PR News (press release)
Online PR News – 30-July-2010 – Ontario, Canada – Your Special Day Wedding Services, one of the leading Ontario wedding services provider, would like to ...
New Wedding Promotions at “Your Special Day” Wedding ServicesLive-PR.com (press release)

all 4 news articles »

wedding trends shake things up - CNN


CNN

wedding trends shake things up
CNN
By Liane Membis, CNN (CNN) -- Former President Clinton's daughter, Chelsea Clinton, took great pains to keep the details of her wedding extravaganza a ...
Clinton greets Rhinebeck crowdPolitico (blog)
Rhinebeck New York glittering for Chelsea Clinton's marriageAll the buzz in News (blog)

all 2 news articles »

For men - what to wear for a wedding - San Francisco Chronicle


For men - what to wear for a wedding
San Francisco Chronicle
Gentlemen, a wedding invitation arrives from someone important - perhaps from your boss, a favorite cousin, or worst of all, an old flame. You've got to go, ...

Vicar Conducts 360 Sham Weddings - Execte News


The Guardian

Vicar Conducts 360 Sham Weddings
Execte News
A vicar was found guilty of conducting over 300 sham weddings between Africans and eastern Europeans in order for the illegal immigrants to gain British ...
Vicar convicted of conducting hundreds of fake weddings at local parish churchThe Guardian
Sussex vicar Alex Brown guilty of sham wedding scamBBC News
360 weddings – and a prison sentence?Independent
Mirror.co.uk -Daily Mail -Oneindia
all 277 news articles »

Carrie Underwood Shows Off Her Wedding Ring - People Magazine


MTV.com

Carrie Underwood Shows Off Her Wedding Ring
People Magazine
After tying the knot with hockey player Mike Fisher, 30, in a Southern style wedding earlier this month, Underwood has swapped a diamond band by jeweler ...
Carrie Underwood Marriage TalksCapital Talk

all 164 news articles »

Part V: Mazel Tov! A Viewer's Guide to the Clinton/Mezvinsky Wedding - Washington Post (blog)


Part V: Mazel Tov! A Viewer's Guide to the Clinton/Mezvinsky Wedding
Washington Post (blog)
What is of unique interest about the upcoming wedding of Chelsea Clinton and Marc Mezvinsky is the attention they bring to the increasingly common issue of ...

and more »

Presidents' daughters and their weddings - Washington Post


Washington Post

Presidents' daughters and their weddings
Washington Post
Chelsea Clinton is planning the wedding of the year this weekend in Upstate New York. Here's a look back at a few other presidential daughters on their big ...
First Daughters' Weddings: A Look Back At Other White House Nuptials (VIDEO)Huffington Post (blog)
First daughters' weddingsOne News Page

all 3 news articles »

Awaiting a Full Embrace of Same-Sex Weddings - New York Times


KSAX

Awaiting a Full Embrace of Same-Sex Weddings
New York Times
CAPE TOWN — It was another picture-perfect wedding at the foot of Table Mountain, recalled the Rev. Daniel Brits. Inside the chapel, a female ...
17 killed at gay party in MexicoBay Area Reporter
Gay marriage off to slow start in PortugalPink Paper

all 78 news articles »

BigDayOut Domain Is For Sale - $3,500 For Enquiries eMail Us

© www.BigDayOut.biz 2010

home | site map | links

 

eXTReMe Tracker